We’ve all wasted time pursuing things that didn’t serve us, but you don’t have to keep following old patterns. Learn how to build self-focus that acts as a compass and lights your internal fire.
There’s a reason that millennials are the burnout generation. That’s not what anyone wants to be known for, but there’s no denying it—many of us (millennial or otherwise) are seriously plagued by the scaries.
Everywhere we go, we’re dragged down by anxiety and errand paralysis. (What’s errand paralysis? Well, have you ever paid over $1,000 for therapy because sending over some insurance forms seemed impossible?)
Modern life is stressful.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. And one major problem is that we don’t focus on ourselves. Many people internalize the idea that we should be working all the time. Simultaneously, the job market sucks, and the workforce is competitive—and those crazy student loan burdens, family expenses, and other commitments aren’t going away.
Fortunately, you may be able to shake the scaries loose by learning how to focus on yourself. Chances are, that’s not a skill that you’ve practiced too much! When we develop this perspective, all our time is suddenly better spent. It becomes easier to make choices about work and life that lead to contentment. It can even make it easier to realize what happiness is for you!
Why you should focus on yourself first
You should focus on yourself first because it’s a duty. We only get one mind, body, and life, so take the time to learn what you want and need and then follow the road to these objectives. This is why:
1. The reality is harsh, but it will set you free
If you’ve been disappointed by people over and over again and that’s what’s getting you down, it’s definitely an indicator that the focus needs to change. When you focus on other people, you’re more likely to be disappointed. That’s because:
- You can’t control other people or the outcomes of your relationships.
- If you rely on someone else for external happiness or approval, you’ll be disappointed at some point.
2. Self-reliance is the most important skill one can develop
Relying on yourself for your happiness and direction in life can do wonders to squash anxiety about everyday life. There’s no wonder everyone is left lying awake at night when they feel stretched in six different directions by work and social life.
3. Authenticity is the route to happiness (whatever that may be)—and a great way to focus on yourself
The definition of happiness is different for everyone, but the way to it is often the same.
Learn to ask yourself what you want instead of deferring to what’s best for work or most convenient for someone else. And perhaps more importantly, learn to answer honestly!
Those two abilities give you self-authenticity by letting you feel and attend to your needs.
How to build authenticity of self
If it’s way too hard to think about the route to happiness right now, don’t get your pants into a twist just yet. We can uncover the ability to ask ourselves what we want out of work, life, and relationships—and answer from our gut, not our anxious heads.
1. Define your dreams
Have you ever asked yourself where you want to be in 5 years, 10 years, or at the end of your life? Those are crazy-hard questions if you have difficulty conceptualizing the future, but the answers can actually be pretty easy to find.
Give yourself some introspective time to think about what matters to you now and what mattered to you in the past. How does that affect what’s going to matter in the future? Where will you want to be at work, in your relationships, and in your community and life?
2. Do the damn thing
Just do it. When you figure out what you want out of life and what your dreams are, go get it without hesitating.
The more you wait, the less momentum you have. It doesn’t matter if it’s a long-term goal like a career change or a move to another country. Make a plan, break it down, and do the damn thing!
3. Face your triggers
It’s easy to prioritize your comfort zone, and no one is recommending that you put yourself into bad situations. But think about placing yourself in settings that shake your boundaries a little bit. It's hard to grow without facing triggers, which can mean:
- Speaking up in work meetings even when you want to slink back to your desk with your coffee
- Asserting your boundaries (no, MIL, I don’t want you to have a spare house key!)
- Joining a gym, even though even the thought of a treadmill makes you sweat
4. Focus on yourself by hearing what your gut is saying
Lots of people spend their lives learning how to suppress what their gut is telling them, but intuition is actually pretty valuable. Intuition isn’t just a sixth sense or a myth. It's a feeling you get when using all your instincts and life experiences to assess a new situation.
If you want to focus on yourself, you have to learn how to listen to your intuition again. At the same time, know that instinct also includes biases and fleeting factors, like having slept like crap last night. Thus, understand that it won't always be 100% right. It's about learning to listen to and factor in gut feelings without letting them take all the control.
Another way to help achieve focus and fight the overwhelm
If you’re having trouble getting clarity, cannabidiol may help you clear your head and reset the ol’ equilibrium. Many people find that CBD helps them take the edge off, maintain calm, and concentrate on what really matters.
Sunday Scaries uses the best broad-spectrum CBD from Colorado to help you get out of your own head and go after your dreams! Just pop a few rainbow CBD candies when you need a reminder to be your awesome self. And if you love the self-assured ease you get from CBD, you can get 20% off and free shipping when you Subscribe & Save!