Breaking up is something no one really usually wants. Let’s look at how to solve some of the BIG relationship problems without just cutting things off cold.
Almost every relationship has its honeymoon phase where everything goes right and feels amazing. It’s normal for things to calm down and find their rhythm eventually. However, finding that rhythm shouldn’t mean arguing all the time—and a clean break may seem like the only way to go. But if you’re asking how to solve your relationship problems without breaking up, it means, well … you don’t want to end it.
There’s still a spark. A feeling. A slowly glowing ember of love (or strong affection) making you think that you two crazy kids might just work things out.
If this thing may be worth saving, then read on. We might have some tips to help you out!
Tip 1: How’s the communication going?
If you scoff and ask, “what communication?” then ding ding ding! we may have a winner. Some folks have a habit of putting walls up and not taking them down for anything. And as it turns out, partners have a small problem with that.
It's normal not to want to burden others with any issues or Scaries, but it can be necessary if you're going to save a relationship. If something bothers you, let them know—but don’t turn it into a b*tch fest, either. Communication is a two-way street along the happy-miserable highway, and people like to hear the good as well as the bad.
If things are turning sour, it could be that your partner doesn’t feel like you rely enough on them. That can make them feel like you’re not fully invested in the relationship or that you don’t trust them. Basically, it’s time to stop being a loner, dude.
2. The relationship doesn’t exist in your head
We all have hopes and dreams, and we all pine for specific outcomes. But when we’re in a relationship, we can’t expect things to go our way, all of the time.
If you’re setting unrealistic expectations, then you may be setting the relationship up for failure. A partner who can’t meet these goals in your head—and may not even know about them! (see tip 1)—lets you down constantly. This is another two-way street on a different metaphorical highway … and you might not be the problem.
So, do some introspection and try to talk it out with your partner, pal!
How to solve relationship problems without breaking up tip 3: It’s not all about you, Karen. Or Jim.
Look: you have to freakin’ listen to your partner. You might be able to guess what they’re going to say, and you could be preparing your killer counter-argument. But shut that smarty-pants noise in your head down for a second and try active listening.
This means actually being present and listening to what your partner is saying instead of writing them off or living in your own head. If you love them—or really care for them at all—they sort of deserve your undivided attention, at least some of the time.
With apologies to, uh, math, relationships aren’t always 50/50. They can be 100/100. Each person has to give 100% to make it work, and compromise is a huge part of how to solve relationship problems without breaking up.
One person can't always get while they want while the other goes without, like an emotional version of those hungry street urchins in Oliver Twist. You’re two different people, and that means you both have needs and wants. If one person is always doing the bending, they’re eventually going to break—and so will the relationship.
5. Take a sec to remember why you love ‘em
Something brought the two of you together, to begin with. And maybe it’s time to find that common ground again.
The world has a way of beating us down, but you chose this person for a reason. Don’t let everyday crap drive a wedge that makes that rationale unclear.
If you have to, make a list of all the things you love about that person and why they caught your attention. Start bringing more of that back into the relationship. Try doing something special for them and see if their reaction—which will likely be good—reignites the passion.
Hell, for long-standing relationships, even setting up a specific “date night” where you totally geek out over shared interests might reaffirm those bonds of friendship and love.
6. Do a little soul-searching, make a plan, and act—while chilling TF out!
All of the above said, sometimes relationships do need to end. You and your partner may have grown apart and into different people. Perhaps they won’t communicate or set unrealistic expectations for you—and won’t change. And if stuff like this is the case, hey: you gotta do you, fam.
But if you’re asking how to end a relationship without breaking up, things still have a shot! At least one of you cares enough to do some InterWebz research to find a solution—and that speaks volumes. We (and probably Google) know you care … now, it’s time you show your significant other.
And maybe you just need a night to vibe together and let all of your Scaries go, especially after an atrocious 2020. Might we suggest adding a little CBD to date night to help chill one or both of you the hell out?
Our gummies, tinctures, and candy can help you say “whatever” a little more frequently. And they put a lot of those excessive worries back in their cage, so you can get out of your own head and back into enjoying each other’s company.
But CBD or no CBD—give rekindling that romance a shot!